- Best thing today: this post
- Worst thing today: not too much bad
- Scale of how annoyed I am Not at all
- Looking forward to: next post
As important as that last topic was to me, this one holds greater importance in my life. I speak of the driving force behind the mentality of the human mind. By this, we all know that I speak of flip-flops.
I personally believe that sneakers are really driven by a terrorist organization; trying to break the spirit of the average free American citizen.
I think that there are many cases in history where flip-flops may have abolished evil. These circumstances include:
~The invasion of Poland at the beginning of WWII. C'mon, please, I mean, if the attackers had worn flip-flops, they would be in a MUCH better mood. They would have been more open to politics and negotiation.
~The Cold War. I think that this one is self-explanatory. They all had tired feet. The pitiable condition of their feet made them annoyed, which, in turn, made the Soviet Union and the US WAY too irritable.
~The Korean War. See above. Switch names for countries.
~Bush. Do you ever see him wearing flip-flops apart from when he is doing a fund raiser public relations act?
~The Roman Civilization. They had it right. Have you ever seen pictures of the Roman dudes in their armor and SANDALS? Granted, sandals are not the same, but some of the Romans wore what are undeniably flip-flops. Also, have you noticed that there were no nuclear holocausts or missile crises during the Roman time period? Yeah, you were not the only one. I have made the connection that the Romans were in a better mood. They practically ruled the world for centuries. Then they left a sister civilization that lasted for a THOUSAND YEARS. Did you EVER see pictures from a civilization that wore Nike or Reebok's and lasted for a thousand years? I rest my case.
~Ancient Greece. The same story, and do you see any missile crises or nuclear attacks in their history?
~Ancient China. This is one of the best examples. They had it going great for how many thousands of years? They wore wood sandals (granted, the foot-binding thing could be fun to try out, minus the pain), which can be called flip-flops in this case because they did not have the mass-production factories that they have today.
~Ancient Egypt. This is the other amazing example. How many pyramids were built outside of the Pharaoh's jurisdiction (minus all those lovely temples the Mayans and Aztecs built in Mexico)? Not many.
As you can see from these cases. The wars that are being fought RIGHT NOW may be able to be resolved by simply handing out flip-flops to the general populace, or just quintupling their number of flip-flop outlets and making the purchase of flip-flops tax-deductible (hey, that could even work HERE).
I am the proud owner of 4 pairs of flip-flops (two pair rather recently acquired) and I look forward to boosting the economy by getting more in the subsequent months.
Until next time!
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